Last week we attended a kindergarten informational meeting.
What!?! My firstborn is going to kindergarten in the fall!?! I can’t even
explain all the emotions that are running through me these days. I’ve had the privilege of being a full
stay at home mom the last year and half and I can’t even to explain the feeling
of gratitude I have. Especially
now that my daughter will be at school all day, five days a week, my heart has
such mixed emotions.
When I have the stay at home mom/working mom conversation
with moms, I have been on both sides of the equation. I know the longing a working mom has to stay at home but
know the need to work. And I know the longing of a stay at home mom of adult
conversation or just a set way of exercising our mind with adult problem
solving, etc. But I have to say, I
LOVE being at home with my kids. I
love staying at home for so many reason, but my favorite part to share with other moms is the value of
being at home with your little ones when they have life questions or really any
questions. My daughter is a thinker and on a daily basis ask random questions
about why her toys are the way they are, a story of her friends at school, a
question about our culture, and questions about God. I get to be the person who is shaping her worldview and my
desire is for her worldview to be grounded in God.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit
of the womb a reward.”
Psalm 127:3
Don’t get me wrong, I have hard days of how to entertain the
little ones ALL day, the constant run around of doing an activity and cleaning
up…. Doing an activity and cleaning up… and repeat. But I prefer it is me
leading my kids in these times and making memories and building a strong
foundation for our relationship for years to come.
God uses these times to refine my heart. I am easily distracted with selfish
thoughts of wanting more down time, wanting my kids to understand mommy wants
to just do her own thing and say, “oh, yeah of course mommy” J,
or just wanting to do things for my self.
Wow, look at those awful selfish thoughts.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right
spirit within me.”
Psalm 51:10
But I am thankful the Lord is faithful and is changing my
desires from focused on me to serving him by serving the family he has given
me. I don’t deserve the blessing children are. The eyes of my heart get
distracted. May my heart aim to please my Maker and Savior. Jesus paid the ultimate price by dying
on the cross and resurrecting. I
now have life because of him and walk in a newness of life.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation. The old has passed away;
behold the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us
to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:17-18
So these last few months of having my daughter at home with
me will be treasured time. I pray
the Lord will strengthen my heart as the days grow near for her to enter school
and my trust in knowing the Lord has gone before me and knows these days
ahead. As much as I love this
girl, the Lord created her and loves her so much more that he gave his life up
for her.
