Last week we attended a kindergarten informational meeting. What!?! My firstborn is going to kindergarten in the fall!?! I can’t even explain all the emotions that are running through me these days. I’ve had the privilege of being a full stay at home mom the last year and half and I can’t even to explain the feeling of gratitude I have. Especially now that my daughter will be at school all day, five days a week, my heart has such mixed emotions.
When I have the stay at home mom/working mom conversation with moms, I have been on both sides of the equation. I know the longing a working mom has to stay at home but know the need to work. And I know the longing of a stay at home mom of adult conversation or just a set way of exercising our mind with adult problem solving, etc. But I have to say, I LOVE being at home with my kids. I love staying at home for so many reason, but my favorite part to share with other moms is the value of being at home with your little ones when they have life questions or really any questions. My daughter is a thinker and on a daily basis ask random questions about why her toys are the way they are, a story of her friends at school, a question about our culture, and questions about God. I get to be the person who is shaping her worldview and my desire is for her worldview to be grounded in God.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
Don’t get me wrong, I have hard days of how to entertain the little ones ALL day, the constant run around of doing an activity and cleaning up…. Doing an activity and cleaning up… and repeat. But I prefer it is me leading my kids in these times and making memories and building a strong foundation for our relationship for years to come.
God uses these times to refine my heart. I am easily distracted with selfish thoughts of wanting more down time, wanting my kids to understand mommy wants to just do her own thing and say, “oh, yeah of course mommy” J, or just wanting to do things for my self. Wow, look at those awful selfish thoughts.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
But I am thankful the Lord is faithful and is changing my desires from focused on me to serving him by serving the family he has given me. I don’t deserve the blessing children are. The eyes of my heart get distracted. May my heart aim to please my Maker and Savior. Jesus paid the ultimate price by dying on the cross and resurrecting. I now have life because of him and walk in a newness of life.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:17-18
So these last few months of having my daughter at home with me will be treasured time. I pray the Lord will strengthen my heart as the days grow near for her to enter school and my trust in knowing the Lord has gone before me and knows these days ahead. As much as I love this girl, the Lord created her and loves her so much more that he gave his life up for her.