Wow

So I occasionally read this blog from my friend Faith's page, Daily Generous Wife Tips. Man, was this post convicting.

I truly desire to be a Godly wife who honors God by loving my family well. I want my home to be a place of peace, joy, and life that is glorifying to God. But I know living in my flesh and sinful ways this does not always happen. I get home from work and I am tired, snappy, and not wanting to serve my family.

But tonight as we prayed as a family, God opened my eyes again to show me what He desires for me and that is to trust in Him daily with my family and my circumstances. Neela had surgery last week to have tubes put in her ears due to a month and a half of ear infections and come to find out... she still has an ear infection this week and is accompanied by weezy bronchitis!! Man, my heart aches for my baby girl. Tim has had a few scares potentially with his heart for a few weeks and is currently with a loop monitor. About 2 weeks ago we had to call an ambulance one morning due to him waking up having difficulty breathing, seeing spots, and hearing a static noises. Man was that scary!! I love him so much and it hurt to see him go through worrying and and wondering what is going on. I am at a loss at times to know what to say to encourage him. But I trust God will be his ultimate comfort and peace. I struggle to just serve my family all the time because I am selfish and want time to myself or just to do nothing. But I know God is using this time to fix my eyes and heart on him for direction, wisdom, and strength. He alone is my refuge. ("Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed are those to take comfort in Him alone." Psalm 34:8)

So when I think about being married to myself right now, I just think it would not be fun to be around myself. What a great perspective and an eye opener. I am thankful I don't have to be married to myself. I would go crazy. :) I don't know how Tim does it. :) I am thankful God loves me as I am and is daily sanctifying me and drawing me closer to him. What a beautiful and gracious God we serve.

Below is the post I read tonight....

Would you want to be married to you?

I found this question in a post on Simple Marriage (Corey's blog is my current painful introspective obsession).

So, would you want to be married to you? How would you feel about being on the receiving end of your peculiarities, your selfishness, your obsessions, your limitations, and the things you won't let go of even though you know you should? Would you feel blessed or cheated if you received from your bride what she receives from you? Do you offer enough love, concern, support, understanding and space? Are you too critical, too distant, or too avoidant? Do you make your needs, desire and wants far bigger than you see her needs, desire and wants?

If you don't like what you see when you answer these questions honestly, it's time to pick one thing and start working on it; then another thing and another.

If you like what you see when you answer these questions, there is a very good chance you are not being completely honest.