Lately, I can't help but ask myself the question... do i really believe the gospel? I mean, I think I do. I believe strongly that the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ enables me to have a right relationship with God and to be completely justified before Him. However, while I do confess this with my mouth, I don't always live and breathe it. How does that happen? How can I say I believe in the life-transforming power of the gospel, but at the end of the day, not really be transformed by the gospel at all. How can I say that I believe that it is Jesus alone who redeems, justifies, and provides, but then constantly look for people, status, money, and success to validate me... to give me worth?
Well, if I am brutally honest with myself, my answer must be, I really don't believe the gospel at all. Now, I don't mean in the salvific sense; I know that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ and that His death on the cross paid the penalty for all of my sin... past, present, and future. What I mean is, my belief in the gospel doesn't always translate into life change. While I may say that Jesus is my provider, I still worry about how we're going to get through seminary, how this new church plant will get off the ground, and how I am going to be the bread-winner for my family. While I may say that Jesus is my justification, I still try to earn my salvation and "work hard for Jesus" hoping that I can gain some brownie points in heaven. While I may say that Jesus is my redeemer, I still consume myself with sports, radio, and t.v.; hoping that these outlets will give me freedom from the harshness of life.
Some people view the gospel as "Christianity 101", like the basics of Christianity... we get hit hard with it at conversion, and then maybe a little of it early on as a new believer, but after that, we move on to more "important" things, more "heady, theological" things that end in "isms" and "ology's". To truly live as though I believe the gospel, I need to hear it every day, I need to breathe it in each morning and each night, I need to let it filter into every area of my being. I must lean on every bit of truth it offers and cling to it desperately. Then maybe I will be able to live in it, and then, and only then, can I say that I truly believe the gospel.
1 comment:
I came across your blog today. I dont normaly comment on peoples blogs that I dont know but I found yours very interesting. I agree a lot with your saying. I struggle daily with that question. I was born and raised in the church but I am often asking myself am I doing the right thing. AM I sitting in the pew because I was raised to be here every Sunday morning or am I here beacuse I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I do believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and I know right from wrong. Does that stop me from doing things I know I shouldnt do?? Not really and that scares me. I could go on and on but I just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed reading that blog and I am glad I came across it today.
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