Portland Birthday

Birthday

My birthday this year was sweet and fun.  It's funny the older you get, the more my birthdays are a reminder that I am getting older.  Not that I am old, but my birthday this year reminded me that I am not getting any younger. 

The day started with my husband taking my daughter to school and leaving me to myself the entire morning.  What!?! I don't remember the last time I layed in bed watching tv in the morning. Seriously, I don't remember.  

When he got home, he brought a beautiful chocolate cake from a local bakery, the sweetest card and a birthday gift.  After they sang me Happy Birthday and I opened my gift, Tim and I chatted literally for a minute and look over at my one year old son and he had scraped the icing on top and had eaten it/all over his mouth.  Seriously, it was the cutest. We ate lunch and then went hiking at Bridal Veil Falls. Such a beautiful, easy hike for the kids and a breath taking waterfall at the end.  Loved it.  Being in Portland has reminded me how much I love hiking.  I love to be outdoors enjoying God's creation.  

After the hike, we came home and got ready for a hot date with my man.  Nothing better than to end with a date.  We ate at The Parish.  It's a fun Lousiana food restaurant with  a fun saloon feel.  

My birthday was the first birthday celebrated in Portland and we celebrated well. 

Here are a few pictures from the day. 

Kindergarten... What!?!

Last week we attended a kindergarten informational meeting. What!?! My firstborn is going to kindergarten in the fall!?! I can’t even explain all the emotions that are running through me these days.  I’ve had the privilege of being a full stay at home mom the last year and half and I can’t even to explain the feeling of gratitude I have.  Especially now that my daughter will be at school all day, five days a week, my heart has such mixed emotions. 

When I have the stay at home mom/working mom conversation with moms, I have been on both sides of the equation.  I know the longing a working mom has to stay at home but know the need to work. And I know the longing of a stay at home mom of adult conversation or just a set way of exercising our mind with adult problem solving, etc.  But I have to say, I LOVE being at home with my kids.  I love staying at home for so many reason, but  my favorite part to share with other moms is the value of being at home with your little ones when they have life questions or really any questions. My daughter is a thinker and on a daily basis ask random questions about why her toys are the way they are, a story of her friends at school, a question about our culture, and questions about God.  I get to be the person who is shaping her worldview and my desire is for her worldview to be grounded in God. 

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Psalm 127:3

Don’t get me wrong, I have hard days of how to entertain the little ones ALL day, the constant run around of doing an activity and cleaning up…. Doing an activity and cleaning up… and repeat. But I prefer it is me leading my kids in these times and making memories and building a strong foundation for our relationship for years to come. 

God uses these times to refine my heart.  I am easily distracted with selfish thoughts of wanting more down time, wanting my kids to understand mommy wants to just do her own thing and say, “oh, yeah of course mommy” J, or just wanting to do things for my self.  Wow, look at those awful selfish thoughts. 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Psalm 51:10

But I am thankful the Lord is faithful and is changing my desires from focused on me to serving him by serving the family he has given me. I don’t deserve the blessing children are. The eyes of my heart get distracted. May my heart aim to please my Maker and Savior.  Jesus paid the ultimate price by dying on the cross and resurrecting.  I now have life because of him and walk in a newness of life. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-18

So these last few months of having my daughter at home with me will be treasured time.  I pray the Lord will strengthen my heart as the days grow near for her to enter school and my trust in knowing the Lord has gone before me and knows these days ahead.  As much as I love this girl, the Lord created her and loves her so much more that he gave his life up for her.  

Starting 2014 with a Bang!

2014 started with a bang for the Birdwell gang.

The first Saturday of the year we went sledding with friends at Mt. Hood.  Yes, I wish I could end here, but there is so much more. We had a fabulous time sledding down a steep hill with our kiddos and friends.  As we were walking back to our cars for lunch, we passed a awesome hill with a jump. How cool would that be to get some serious air as we sled down the hill.

So all the adults took turns and completed the jump with success. I saw all the air everyone caught... it was awesome.  I chose to be the last adult so I could gather the courage to do the jump.  I used to be a super dare devil, but motherhood has made me walk more cautiously and I should have stayed in the "motherhood" mind set to prevent what happens next.

So as I do the jump, it was awesome! I slid off the side of the jump, catching the most air out of everyone, landed with speed, and here is where things went sour...I lost control of the sled and was spinning around like crazy.  As I got closer to the bottom of the hill, I plowed over a tree stump, shredded the sled, and to make a long story short, I broke my vertebra L3 and L4 transverse processes.

Saying it's been a long 3 1/2 weeks is a major understatement.

This has put a bit of a damper on my New Year.  My heart is quick to feel sorry for me and being put in this situation, but the Lord quick to tend to my heart.  The Lord has a steadfast love for me. He wont let me just sit in this "pity party" but points my heart to replace lies of a "pitiful life" to truth found in scripture, specifically James 1.

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

"Consider"
I have a choice. Where am I going to let my heart and thoughts dwell. I need to consider the truth of the Lord.

"Face Trials"
In the greek this is translated to "fall" into trials.  We don't get to choose our trials, we fall into it.  Like it just hits us on the head unexpectedly.  As we go through trials, the verse follows with...

"Faith Produces Perseverance"
Wow... is breaking my back a trial I have to face for my faith to produce perseverance... yes.  If the Lord willed it, which he did because it happened to me, the Lord is using it.

Perseverance to press into the Lord when I am frustrated I can't take care of my family.

Perseverance to press into the Lord when I want a rhythm back into our lives

Perseverance to press into the Lord because I am lacking control at this time.

May my heart grow in steadfastness for the Lord.  Would I choose this way, but God is using this to draw me to himself.  Whether I want to or not, he is moving.

I praise him for not breaking my spine and having to have surgery.  I praise him for being present as I suffered through pain and discouragement.

He is worthy for my affection regardless of my circumstance.

Thankful Day 20- Thanksgiving Program

My daughter had her pre-k Thanksgiving program today.  So sweet.  Really, all the kiddos were so cute.  Neela was great.  The night before she sang all the songs to me and showed me the motions.  She asked that I sit where she could see me.  :)

Neela's teacher told me as they were leaving for the program she told her teacher she was hoping I found where the program was going to be and was worried about me.  My 4 year old was worried about me! so cute.  I asked her on the way to school where the program was just for conversation and this is where she took it in her mind.  oh girl.

I am thankful for this Thanksgiving Program which reminds me of what a great school Neela attends. I am thankful she has made friends and is thriving in her new school.

Thankful Day 19- Butterfingers

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Thankful Day 18- Slumber Parties

I am so thankful for slumber parties.

I can't believe how much slumber parties bring joy to my daughter's heart.  Neela and I had a slumber party tonight and I don't want to forget it.  I mean seriously, she laughs with that deep within laugh that just makes you start laughing.  I love it!

Our slumber party consisted of:

Movie: Lalaloopsy.  Enough said.

A Crazy game of Candyland- She get so excited to play this game.  It's not just about the moving her Gingerbread Man piece but all that is included like the fun area's on the board and gobbling up all the candy as she moves her pieces.  Really is so fun to watch her joy.

Painting Finger Nails.  We do this every time at a slumber party.  Not sure why this is always included it just seems like that's a fun thing to do at slumber parties.  She loves it. She picks her color out and I get to paint maybe one nail and then she wants to pain all her nails and mine.  My nails are currently pink that is a little uneven but I don't mind. :)

Reading. Weird I know, but she loves reading.  So we picked a few books and read.

Taylor Swift dance party.  So I have a feeling taylor swift is a staple in my life right now and will probably in the future will remind me of this time of our lives.  But I don't mind. We danced to 3 songs with her stuffed bunnies and I loved this moment.  I want to lock this memory away because it's just so sweet.

I hope, in years to come, our relationship will include fun moments like this.  Full of fun, being our selves, vulnerable, and full of laughter.  Yes.

Thankful Day 17- Today's Message

Pastor Mark, taught the last of the 10 Commandment services.  This commandment is the only commandment that deals strictly inward not outward actions.  No one can see you coveting in your heart.  If you want someone's home, job, family, personality, or gifts no one can SEE this in your outward appearance. 

I don't think of my self as a covetous person, but when I start to look in my heart, I see this is true in my life.  When I am finding my identity in my the pursuits of this world, my heart is often discouraged and finding satisfaction in my abilities and not who Christ is and who I am in Christ.

Scripture says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks".  Wow.  what do I talk about the most?  What does my heart dwell on most of the day? The heart is stated 900+ times in the bible.  Our heart is a big deal to the Lord.  

I need to fix my affections for the Lord not for things around me.  I need to set my heart for the things of the Creator and not the created.  

Coveting hurts God: God gives us the law as an extension of God's love. 

 

"As for the rich in this resent age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy." 1 Timothy 6:17

This convicted my heart.  The Lord is my heavenly, loving Father who gives me riches to enjoy and my heart does not always rest in this.  He is enough.  He is my identity. He is my hope.  Why do I look else where?  Why do I let me heart go astray?  

Coveting hurts people you love:

"What causes quarrels and what causes passions are at war within you. You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." James 4:1-3

These fights we are waring within our hearts and they eventually show eternally.  Because we are coveting others, we end up fighting with them because our hearts are not pure towards them and we are desiring what they have or have put an expectation on them.  Be sensitive to the Lord's leading and know what his word says.  Keep our eyes fixed on him and know where you are letting sin rule your hearts.  Confess and Repent to the Lord.

Coveting hurts people you could love

God reminds us to love others where they are at and not because of what they have and who they are.

"...It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

Crushing coveting with contentment

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Philippians 4:11

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

God is enough. He paid the price and we are given life. God continues to sanctify us through revealing areas of our life we are not giving him ultimate control, we confess these areas and repent.

Take Away from 10 Commandments

1. God is an amazing Father

2. Jesus is incredible and perfect

3. He sent the Holy Spirit