5 Months

                                                             (sitting in his sister's chair)

My sweet little boy is 5 months old and I just can't believe how quickly the time has flown by!  I know everyone says time flies with the second child and it is so true. I've really enjoyed and savored my moments with him.  It's different the second time around because I know how quickly they grow and so I've learned to sit in each stage more and not be nervous or frazzled of every spit up or sleepless night.  :)  I've learned to take it in strides and I know, by God's design, they naturally grow on their own in each stage and do their thing! :) Crazy how that works. :)

People often ask me if I see the difference in my children's personality and the answer is yes.  It's amazing to see that even at 5 months old, he personality is shining through. Ashwin is jolly, playful, and attentive. But when he sees an object that looks different to him he has this "mean muggin" face and starts kicking around.  For example, on the fridge we had pumpkin picture with eyes Neela made.  Anytime I was carrying him near the fridge, he would stare at the pumpkin and start kicking.  So hilarious!  I would laugh to the point of no return.  It was the cutest thing.  He did the same thing with a balloon Neela had.  So that's different. He does have many facial expressions of, "what you lookin at", "Who are you?", "I like you", "what are you" and so many more. Is that his personality or just being a boy?  Not sure but it's cute.
Both my kids are cuddlers.  Ashwin loves just to be close to you loves when I just embrace him and keep him close.

He loves his big sister.  Seriously, it's the cutest thing.  He watches her every move and when she plays with him, he is smiling ear to ear. One morning I was taking him out of the crib and Neela came into his room and set up all her barbies and started playing on his rug.  So I got his bumbo and set him down to see what she was doing.  He loved it! He watched her sing, talk with her barbies and move them around. I can't wait until they can play together. Neela's great with him and loves to "baby talk" to him.

This months fun facts:
- still rolling over all the time and gets frustrated if he stays on his tummy too long
- eating rice cereal (loves it!) in the process of making the next foods
- grabs toys
- starting to teeth
- loves his pacie
- still sleeping through the night
- dropped him off once in the childcare for bible study.

Morning

I am definitely a morning person and thankful for time I can wake up and prepare my heart before my children wake up.

This morning Hebrews 2:14,15 reminded me, Christmas is for Freedom.

Through Jesus' death on the cross, the power of death is destroyed.  We have NOTHING to fear of this world and can walk in freedom and peace.

Praying I walk fearlessly in Him.  Free to take any risk for Christ!

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. - Hebrews 2:14-15

Excited to spend time with my children today, to love them well, and point them to the One we desperately need.

Kiddos waking up, gotta go!

Happy Wednesday!

3 Months

3 months old.  I can't believe how much Ashwin has grown and developed.  He is such a sweet, even tempered, smiley baby.  When I pick him up for the first time in the morning, the first thing he does is smile.  As I change his diaper he smiles. After I feed him, he smiles.  Truly friends, it's the sweetest thing.  He is very attentive to his surroundings and is easily engaged when you are holding him.

 Since the first night home, he always had at least one 4 hour stretch, but since month two, he sleeps 8 hours plus every night! Praising God for this blessing! Both kids go to bed at 8pm and Tim and I have time together.  Yay! So thankful for this bundle of joy. I could hug him all day.

Neela loves her little brother and helping when she can or just being patient while we tend to him.  She has transitioned so well from being an only child to being a big sister.  I am so proud of her.  She started a dance class last month and is loving it.  She dances around the house and pretends she is a dancer.  She is really into arts and crafts which is right up my alley so daily activities are fun to do because I get to hang out with who I love doing a hobby I love doing.

Ashwin's current behaviors:
- kicking in the air
- cooing
- smiling (all the time!)


Today's big accomplishment.... he rolled onto his tummy!!!  The picture above was taken right after he rolled over today. We love him and are so proud of him.

Love being these kids' mama!

Special day of the year

This month we celebrated our 6th year of marriage.  What a joy!  It's crazy to think all we have been through together and how much life experience we have together.  Getting married young comes with challenges, but I am thankful we were able to make so many life decisions together and have been able to grow together in so many ways.

After 3 cities, 5 homes,  7 jobs, 4 cars, business owner, church plant,and 2 kids later here we are. 

Daily we are thankful for the joys and trials we have faced and how God has revealed himself faithful, trustworthy, and glorious in all situations.  My heart has been so transformed by God's overwhelming steadfast love for us and how He has molded our marriage with Him as our foundation.  I am thankful for our ability to be vulnerable with hardened hearts covered with prayer and joyful testimonies and encouragement with truth filled hearts seeing our own sin and recognzing our need for our Savior.

This marriage has been the best experience of my life.  We are not the same people we were when we got married.... we are being transformed by our Jesus and I love seeing Jesus shine in Tim and him striving for our marriage and our family to seek Him and for us to have fun. 

Transitioning from one child to two has been a different having no down time, but we are embracing the change and often remind each other to enjoy this stage of sleepless nights, balancing two children's attention, and still spending quality time together, it will be over and then on to the next phase. ( i think sleepless nights also do something to a person :) ) I recently studied the Psalm of Ascent and refer back to Psalm 127 and rejoice in this gift.  Children are a blessing from the Lord. Yes, this stage will come and go and we will have our routine back with a new normal.  I am thankful for Tim being a fab father and a husband who serves constantly. 

Birth Story

Ok, so this is a little late, but better late than never right? Our sweet baby boy is 6 weeks old and is doing great. He is sweet, attentive and always looks like he is in deep thought. It's so adorable. 

I was told to make sure I write down my birth story because I will soon forget all the details and I do not want to miss any due to this crazy experience. 

My first child's labor was by the book: smooth , on my due date, short, and memorable. Sequence of events: My water broke, I took a shower, labor for 4 hrs (dilated 2cm before labor) with the epidermal, pushed 30 minutes and our daughter was here. This time was very different. 

I wake up around 3:45am with my stomach bothering me. The baby shifted alot at night, so I assumed that's all it was. Well, the cramping started to be a little more consistent so I get out of bed just to be more awake and alert.  I start cleaning our house by picking up toys and straightening up. The pain in my stomach started to get more intense so I  timed the contractions to see how far apart they were. Yeah, So they were 4 minutes a part!!  At my doctor's appointment the day before, the doctor said to be at the hospital when contractions were 7 minutes a part due to me being almost 4 cm dilated and my first labor going so fast. EKK!!! I woke Tim up and told him I think I am in labor, I called the doctor and let them know the situation. After that, I called my friend Holly to head on over to be with Neela. 

On our way to the hospital, Tim ran through every stop sign and red light as he prayed for the labor and our baby. We get to the hospital and I had to stop often to Endure contractions by bending over and yelling out a bit. (umm yeah, totally like the movies)  When we arrived on our floor we checked in with nurses who took their time, or it seemed to me. They put us in a room and asked me to put on a gown that was literally like a sheet, I couldn't figure out how to put it on!! As we are trying to figure it out, a major contraction comes and do as I'm fighting through the contraction, Tim thoughtfully tried to maximize the time by helping me change. Well, I turned into a crazy lady and very aggressively told him to stop and pushed him a but. Yes, I was that crazy lady. :) Tim was a trooper and endured my craziness and we I finally got the gown. 

The next few moments I will never forget... The nurse came in to check my progression and said I was completely dilated and I'm about to meet my baby. I said, oh! Well, I need the epidermal." and she said, "Honey, it's too late for the epidermal." what!?! I lost it at this point and proceeded to cry, stated over and over "I can't do this", and continued through contractions. As they wheeled me to the delivery room and I'm still saying "I can't do this", a nurse grabs me and says, "You can do this and you are about to do this." she gave me a few pointers and started to get the room ready and called for the doctor. All of a sudden I  felt pressure and tell the nurse I think I need to push. Now I have never researched how to have a natural birth because it was not an option to me, but it's amazing how God has designed our bodies to know what to do. All of a sudden I felt pressure and told the nurse I think I need to push now. She freaked out a bit because she was not ready and the doctor was not there. Well, a few seconds later the doctor came in, I pushed 3 times, and met my baby boy for the first time. All within 15 minutes of being at the hospital, he was born.  What an amazing experience! I am thankful for this gift of life from the Lord. He doesn't have to let us be a part of this process of life entering this world but He does. The joy of a new life, it's just a glimpse into the love our Father has for each child of his who is a new creation in him. 

Craziest experience of my life. Ashwin came 1 week early with a grand entrance. 

Ashwin was 6 lbs 15 ounces and 19 inches long. Healthy, beautiful, and attentive. :) 

Baby Boy

This pregnancy definitely has been a different experience with a little one already at home.  The first time around I would come home everyday, take a nap, eat a snack and then lay around for the rest of the day. Definitely not this time.  Having a little one at home keeps me busy, in a fun way.  Being lazy around the house definitely is not on the agenda.  Our day is full of reading, parks, crafts, barbies, and play time in her kitchen.  I am thankful for my tender hearted daughter.  She hugs my tummy often and baby talks to my tummy.  We read a big sister book at bedtime and she loves sharing about how she will help with the baby and get to be a big sister.  She is currently excited about the arrival of her baby brother and knows she will meet him at the hospital.

We know there are many transitions ahead and we are praying for God's steady hand to guide us through this time.  I'm in my 37th week and thankful I have had a smooth pregnancy.  I am currently 2 cm dilated and my doctor said this labor will move quickly due to my first labor being so quick.  So if you think about us, please pray for the labor process and our upcoming transition. We are trusting God's timing, and entrusting this beautiful gift of life to Him.

Here are a few of my pregnancy pictures with Baby Birdwell #2.  We are so excited to meet him! 

April: Not sure which week, but I think 20 weeks.

Week 22

Week 28

Week 32

Week 33

Week 35

Week 36:

Beach!

We took a few days for ourselves and went to the beach!  This was Neela's first trip to the beach and she LOVED it! She loved the sand in her toes, building sand castles, letting her barbies have a "sand" party, and finding shells.  She liked the ocean water but did not like the "saltiness" of the water.  Everytime she mentioned the water, "salty" was mentioned in the sentence. :)

Neela playing in the sand!

Pink toe nails in the sand.

Neela and Daddy shooting seagulls with the water toys. :)

Me playing in the sand.

On this trip I was 32 weeks along with our baby boy.  The beach was a great place to go on a trip pregnant because it's mostly laying around on the beach and in the sand.  I can do that. :) 

I can't get the pic to turn right side up!

It was a great getaway and a fun trip before baby boy comes.  Soon we will be a family of four at the beach.  Yay!

Cravings

People say every pregnant is different.... it's true. I am currently 27 weeks along and there is definitely no denying I am preggo. :)

With my first pregnancy, I ate so healthy. Not even on purpose, it's just what I craved. I craved spinach, tomatoes, outmeal, tons of water, etc. This pregnancy has been completely different. Both pregnancies I craved hamburgers and fries but this time it is so much more! I can totally eat a burger for every meal and not regret it. I love Mighty Fine Burgers... truly the best burgers ever. They are freshly make, the atmosphere is clean, and they have great fries! ;) This baby is getting some serious nutrious food. :) (sarcasm insert right here)

Here is the website if you are interested: http://mightyfineburgers.com/#/home

Another one of my cravings is chocolate. Yes, this has always been a weakeness of mine, but so much more now. I usually try not to buy extra little things when I go to the grocery store, but not now. I come home every week with a butterfinger, twix, or little debbie cakes. I know!?! Little Debbie Cakes, really!?! I don't think I have purchased those since college. Yes this has become a staple in our home. Neela expects some type of sugar in our home at all times. Not a good habit for me to keep. My teeth are totally going to rot out.

Last but not least, caffeine. Yes I said it. I crave this daily. I did not think about coffee and coke when I was pregnant last time, but that is not the case this time. I just started drinking coffee a few months before this pregnancy so maybe that's why but it's a strong craving. I am always so excited when someone wants to meet at Starbucks or another coffee shop. Yes! Let's do it! :) I do try to limit my intake, but I have been drinking caffeine here and there. I admit it.

My favorte thing about being pregnant is feeling him move around in my tummy. A life, inside me... growing, developing, bonding. What a privilege this is. The other day, Neela and I took a nap together and it was such a sweet moment because here I am laying with my baby girl and inside my tummy my little boy is moving and kicking around. I was having a special moment with both of my kids. A mother of two little ones!

Don't get me wrong, I know life is about to get crazy with two little ones, but I'm ok with that. I have a great husband who is a fabulous hubby, father, and support. Neela would enjoy nothing more than extra time with her Daddy while mommy is feeding or taking care of her brother. She knows Daddy is the fun one who does the crazy activities like plays "superman" with her (he lets her stand on his stomach, holds her hands up and lets her lean forward as he balances her), runs in the sprinkler with her, and tosses her in the air.  I think he's pretty fun too. :) We are praying we are able to embrace the chaos and enjoy this season of life.

We are so thankful for the sweet support we have. Friends have flooded us with baby boy clothes, a mattress, and other baby items. Thankful for everyone's excitement and love toward our little family.

Bluebonnets

Loving this season...



Grateful for my portion...



"Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you."
Luke 12:27, 28

Rescued

I once was lost but now I’m found.
I have been rescued.

I once was dead in my soul and heart but now I am alive.
I have been rescued.

I once was under rules and regulations but now I am under liberty.
I have been rescued.

I once was under judgment, but now I am made righteous.
I have been rescued.

I once was in chains, but now I am free.
I have been rescued.

I once was trying to earn approval, but now I am loved and accepted as I am.
I have been rescued.

I have been rescued.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

God made him who had no sin to be sin[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

The LORD your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”

My life has been transformed and I am daily being sanctified by knowing my need for God and knowing who God is. I am not perfect and don't have my life together, but I know a perfect God who has given me new life.

It Won't Be Like This For Long

Ok, so I'm pregnant and already a sentimental person, but I love this song. It just brings tears to my eyes when I think of the day Neela was born to now, almost 3 years old. It's a sweet reminder of how quickly Neela is growing up and I want to embrace every stage, every moment, every giggle, and every smile. She is such a joy and has such a gentle heart.

Daniel and Diana's Wedding

Daniel and Diana are officially husband and wife! Yay! The wedding was beautiful and the entire weekend was a blast! I loved spending time with my sweet friends just laughing, remembering fun times, and looking forward to the next phase of life.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend:


Me, Diana, and Lisa
We laughed so much this weekend!


My Boo and I.


Diana getting her hair did. :)


After D put her dress on. She looked so beautiful!


Hanging out before the wedding.


Lisa and I were buddies all weekend. She did a fab job taking care of so many responsibilities and keeping Diana organized.


Neela made a new friend. :)


The happy couple!


My parents were so excited for Diana. They love her so much.

Family

Expecting a baby boy in July! Trying to figure out how to raise 1, while thinking about what we will do with 2!

Diana Tesch

This girl is long over due a post on this blog. Diana Tesch and I have been friends for over 10 years. We met freshman year of college and the rest is history. :)


2009

We have been through so many different phases of life: 1st year of college, 1st major break up, 1st vulnerable authentic relationship, growing in our foundational truths and love for our Savior, conflict, wedding planning/marriage, 1st child (me), panic moments, point each other to truth, and endless nights of laughing at stupid nothingness... the list goes on.


2009

This girl is amazing. There are a few relationships in my life that I feel completely comfortable being myself- raw. She has seen the good, the bad, and the SUPER ugly of me without judgment. Seriously, our Sovereign Lord's presence in her life is so evident. She has been a joy and a rock for me in different phases of my life and I am thankful for the true blessing she is in my life.


2009

Diana is a lady you can't help but be joyful in her presence. She is quick to make YOU the focus and not herself and you will never leave a conversation with her without being lifted and pointed to truth.


2010

Diana is getting married at the beginning of March and what a beautiful bride she will be. God's presence in her life cannot be denied. She radiates the glory of the Lord. God has given her a desire to honor Him in her marriage and the day in and day outs of her life. She asks raw questions and recognizes areas in her life she is in desperate need of His grace and guidance.

All this to say, I love this lady. I am thankful for her friendship and honored to call her one of my best friends. Her presence in my life is irreplaceable and her friendship is endless.

Baby #2

We are so excited to announce Baby Birdwell #2 coming in July!! We could not be more excited! What a precious gift from the Lord.

So often I can doubt God's timing, but this gift growing in me is His perfect timing and gift. A few months ago we found out we had a miscarriage and this news was devastating. We mourned, rested in truth and were given peace that surpasses all understanding. Then come to find out, another baby started growing in my tummy the following week after the miscarriage. What!?! Really!! It's hard to doubt God's timing in this and we are so thankful He has been so generous to us. A word to describe this season of life is grateful. Grateful for His grace and everlasting love, grateful He gives us such gifts as babies, and grateful for eyes to see and rejoice in a God who draws us to Him to abide in His love.

We continue to pray for this baby to grow healthy and for us to rest in God's promises. Neela is so excited. I can't hold her right now due to my back so she will run up and hug me and say, "You cant hold me because you have a baby in your tummy." The other day we were walking to the park and Neela was carrying her baby doll and said, "Mommy, I can hold my baby because I don't have a baby in my tummy." So adorable! She often comes up to me, gives me a hug, touches my stomach, and says, "Aww, baby." These are just a few of the ways she is learning about her new sibling. She is going to be a great big sister. She is so gentle with babies and a loving helper.

Captain Shubhra Jones

Praying for my sister, Captain Jones. She left for Afghanistan yesterday for a 9 month deployment. Her last deployment was 15 months from 2007-2008. She has 2 kids, a daughter who is 8 years old, a son who is 7 years old and a husband who is a great father to these kids. Praying for peace, strength, and perseverance through this time.

Trusting in a faithful, loyal, beautiful God.

Keeps me smiling

Neela never ceases to amaze me. To teach Neela about Martin Luther King Jr. on that special holiday we showed her a video from youtube with him giving a speech. As Tim was explaining this to her she noded her head and said, "Ok.... I have a dream." She said this phrase all by herself! I could not contain myself. They talked about Martin Luther King Jr. at school and she remembered. It was the cutest thing ever!

I know I say this about every stage, but this stage is so fun. So much personality, smiles, laughs, and questions. Love it!

She loves telling stories and she uses "adult" phrases like "because" (with a tilted head), "so", "like".

Pure joy.

Grateful

There is something about a new year that is refreshing. I feeling of a fresh start, new goals, and the anticipation of what God reveals to me about who He is and continually changing my desires to His desires.

There is so much to be grateful for in my life. Confession: often I don't see my life this way. I often am distracted with being tired, not getting "me" time, or just the day having too many "interruptions".

I am praying for the Lord to open the eyes of my heart. I desire not to take the presence of the Lord in my life for granted. I desire to take complete joy in a husband who is my best friend and love, my daughter who bring so much laughter and smiles to my face and heart, my friends who bless me more than I deserve, and the blessing of living in America (enough said).

Transformation is what I long for. It's not always in a way I want it to come, but I know the Lord is faithful to guide my heart and mind to His truth of love, grace, and mercy.

Colossians 2:7
"rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

I pray my heart will rest in a God who has captpured my heart. Praying to know how much I need God and His guidance in my daily life. You Lord are enough.

James

I've been reading through the book of James and as always god is stirring my heart ot know Him more, reveal sin in my heart, and repent of my selfish desires.

James 1:12,13 " 12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment." So often I think I don't judge others or think of myself better than others. The true state of my heart is I do. It's not an over arking loud judgement but quiet. Thoughts of "Did they really wear that?" "Did they just say that?" "Can't believe they struggle with that?" "Can't beleive that they do that in their marriage"... and so on. but of couse, that's me judging from my standard and what type of standard is that- a sinful, faultful standard. Thankful God is righteous and perfect. Gracious and merciful to his children. I am thankful the Lord is not letting me sit in sin and is bringing it to the surface. When this happens, I experience true freedom in Christ from guilt, shame, not meeting man's standard and approval.

Lord, continue to chisel away at my heart. Draw me to your love and truth that I may rejoice in your holy and precious name alone.